Big milestone for me

So many milestones over the past 4 years have been about the kids. But, this one is all about a certain piece of equipment and myself. After 2 kids and almost 22 months of constant use this evil/wonderful contraption is finally being put to rest.

I never imagined when I first opened the package how much time I would spend with this pump. I was blissfully ignorant of exclusive pumping and had no idea how difficult nursing would be for me before Aubrey was born. After both kids were born, I spent so much time attached to it and I swear at times it was talking to me. However, this pump saved us so much money and allowed both of my children to have breast milk for their first year and I am so grateful for that.

I won't lie though, I hate this pump. I've been counting down to my last day of pumping since the first time I used it. I cried when I accepted the fact I would not be able to nurse Mason at all and would have to rely solely on my pump to help me nourish my child. But, it faithfully worked for me over all those months despite my hatred and dread of sitting down to pump. The blissful day finally arrived after Mason's 10 month birthday that I could start weaning and I was stoked. I hit my goal for storing enough milk to make it to Mason's first birthday and threw the towel in. I dropped a pumping session every few days until finally I was down to 1. I planned to pump once a day for a few more days but after 2 days of 1 pumping session there was no discomfort when I woke up so I waited another few days and finally realized I was finished. Its been a week and it still hasn't completely sunk in I'm finished. I am mostly thrilled to be finished. But, a tiny part of me is sad. My days of nourishing a child are over and its a little depressing. But, the time and freedom I've gained back have been wonderful in helping me move past that sadness and appreciate where I am now.

Now, just as I finished the food restrictions I had with Mason I start food restrictions of another variety. Now that I am free to cut calories and lose weight it is game on. I have 7 months to squeeze into a strapless dress for my sister-in-law's wedding. I purposefully ordered my dress a size smaller than I am now so it could kick start the weight loss. I have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose plus another 10-15 on top of that. So, I have start the Insanity program and am following its calorie recommendations to ensure I shed this weight. Its a different feeling losing weight this time because I know I won't have an excuse to gain it back like I did between kids. I want it to go and stay gone so I am really trying to go about it the right way. Its getting too cold to run for now so I will do Insanity (which is really freaking crazy hard) until the spring and then resume my running. I look forward to running again and hope to back to doing 5Ks in the spring.

So, let the fun begin and I can't wait to see what results I have to share in the next few months.